From the Vault: A Microaggression Monday
Microaggression
[mahy-kroh-uh-gresh-uh n]
noun
1. a subtle but offensive comment or action directed at a minority or other nondominant group that is often unintentional or unconsciously reinforces a stereotype: microaggressions such as "I don't see you as black.".
Yesterday was rough for me. I'm not sure if it was the underlying doom of the presidential debate or the "friends" who stand next to you in fittings and rather look at the ceiling the tell you what their issue is (I'll save that for a different day), or the fact that Mercury is still tripping but what should have been an exciting first step in a brand new role for me was by far the icing on the cake of belittlement and disrespect.
For five years, yes, five whole American years I have worked, risking my knees, sanity, and often time pocketbook to preform daily in shows. And despite my humorous statues and seemingly unaffected disposition, yesterday I'd had enough. It was so bad in fact, I had to walk away, take in some humid thick disrespectful air and dry off the weird salty substance that was forming in my eyes.
Let me explain.
During my time down that famous street, I've been met not only with pixie dust, new friends, and lasting memories, but I've also been met with a chronic lack of awareness for the needs of people of color (POC) within the department. From tights that come in shades other than beige, light beige, yellow-beige, and off beige to yesterday's makeup debacle. Things I've often brushed off as one-offs, in an effort to make the other party feel less embarrassed by their lack of preparation, has now reached an all-time low.
While exact details of the exchange yesterday are neither here nor there, there are a few bullet points I'd like to address.
1. It is 2016. There are so many beautiful shades of humans working for the largest entertainment company in the world. Why, am I still, showing up to make up seminars and being placed on the back burner when no one seems to know how to pull an eyeshadow or blush color for me that won't look like I've been playing in flour all morning.
2. If your sole job is to create said makeup looks for your castmembers, ALL castmembers, why in the two thousand and sixteen years of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, do you, with your blue eyes and blonde hair, look at me, dead in my melanin filled face and say "people that look like you only have a few looks that compliment your skin tone".
3. Why, still, after all these years, do I get to every single makeup session and watch a full department of professionals (your words not mine) scramble like my eggs in the morning to go to the other closet to pull out the makeup for me. Why do you continue to say things like, "no one told us YOU were coming", or "I don't think we have anything that will work for you". Am I a monkey? An alien?
Even the worse make-up companies attempt to make shades darker than beige so why, can you not take the extra minutes to prep yourself for performers that may look different than you.
4. Furthermore, if the woman, whose sole purpose is to oversee the cosmetology department of the entire resort, has never updated her skill set past the years were Snow and the OG squad were the only princess you had to worry about, and admittedly continues to make unprofessional comments to me and other POC based off of their lack of knowledge and training then maybe it's time to sit them down. No more she's older, is unaware, or she means well. She's unprepared, she's borderline racist and she's going to get told off, in the name of Jesus.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, if outfitting people of color with things like brown tights and proper make up is such an issue for you, the biggest company in the world damn near, maybe if everytime you see a new black girl get hired you freak out, maybe if you don't realize that Asians and Latinas also require colors other than clear, translucent, and baby beige, maybe, if your wig technicians don't know that yes I'm going to change up my hair every month so pin curls aren't the end all for hair prep, or that I should be able to dye my hair just ask much as everyone else because that blonde is equally as unnatural for me as it is for Becky, Sara, and Brittany, or that black guys hair is also as different as black women and it is still equally important and exceptable, and they should be allowed to deep hip hop Asian parts just as much as the white guys do, maybe, maybe if everything I just stated in this long run on sentence is still mind blowing to you, in 2016, you, are the problem. Maybe, the lack of diversity in our department is causing you to forget that entertainers come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Because entertainment, at its very core, knows no color. Maybe, I shouldn't still be the only black girl in role after role. For God's sake we have a Black princess... and Asian princess, a Native American princess, a Latina princess, and a Polynesian bae on the way. BTW, casting said roles with non-POC characters doesn't change the fact that these characters exsist, for their culture, in way that require respect and consideration in casting them.
Fix it. Now.
The color of my skin should not feel like such a burden to you each time I try something new. I've let quite a bit slide over the years, even losing a show because someone made a racist comment to me and then Taylor Swifted her way out of it... but the truth is I'm tired *que Tamela Mann voice*. I belong and here and got here the same way as my coworkers, likely working twice as hard just to get noticed. The moment you hired me, bundles, and all, it was your responsibility to make sure when I came to work, I had the necessary accommodations to perform my job to the best of my ability. I'm not here to coach you through why I need brown tights and why I can't wear under pigmented eyeshadow.
You are embarrassing yourself. And this company. My gawd, hop on a YouTube if you still don't know what to do. Ask these drag queens walking the halls of N19. But enough with the belittlement of castmembers who simply want to look nice and do their jobs. And if, you can't figure it out. Let me do it myself. Quiet as its kept, I can slay my face better than anyone else ever could.
Ask for help. Bring me or other POC in beforehand. Do your research. Acknowledge your limited experience is not my burden to bear. Update your skillset. Read a book. Do better. Try harder.
But whatever you decide... Figure it out.
NOW.
