I feel like before we really get started on this bloggin' journey, you should know a few things about me...
1. I am an only child. Now, before you begin your horrid prejudgment, you listen to me damnit, I was not spoiled, so quit with all that noise. Was I loved, absolutely? Was I able to lots of awesome things, yup. But, was I some overzealous, annoying brat that got a brand new car at my super sweet sixteen, parents pay all my bills, and donโt know the value of hard work only child? NEVER!
2. Yes, I really donโt drink. Like AT ALL. Nothing. No, there isnโt some deep rooted, child of an alcoholic, substance abuse sad story behind it. I just donโt. And you asking why, or pushing me to do so, is well, played out. But thatโs a different post, for a different day.
3. I really am like this. Like the humor, the sarcasm, the sharp side eyes, the heavy pull of the corners of the mouth, the eye rolls, the squints of disapproval, they are all me. Not an act, or a faรงade, and not always something I am proud of, but there is no feeling like being yourself. So, here I am, flaws, petty and all.
4. I canโt swim. Yes, I am a walking black stereotype. And I have no shame. I grew up with a pool in my backyard too, even had some of thee dopest pool party birthdays growing up, but if you think I placed my little brown toes in that water, youโre bugginโ.
5. I am super vocal. I learned a long time ago, that my voice means something, so I began to use it, a lot. I think itโs important to stand up for yourself, others and use your voice as a platform. I have tons of opinions, they arenโt always correct, but I am happy that I am able to confidently speak up for myself. I donโt expect people to be like me, but I do question people who canโt seem to formulate their own ideas, thoughts, or stances on things. Like, then why are you here?
6. I am extremely private. Most people know me, but very few people know me. Not because I don't share, but because most times, people don't LISTEN. Plus I'm a hot mess, so safety isn't guaranteed if your really trying to get to know me.
7. I am not really afraid of anything. I mean, outside of the normal stuff like spiders, bugs, the doctor, white heels, spandex, one size fit all clothing, the dentist, failure, being alone forever because no one will love me, falling in public or on route during a show, bad eyebrows, my foundation not matching my neck, sushi... you know the basic stuff.
8. I am really obsessed with eyebrows. I should clarify. I love make up. Something about a beat face and contoured cheek bone really gets me going. I have always loved make up, even though looking back on it, I realized I was really really bad at it. Like, every single color of the rainbow just doesn't have to be on your eyeballs at all times girl.. stop.
9. Yes, itโs a weave. Itโs almost always a weave girl. Thatโs just my thing. Shout out to you and your natural hair journey, itโs just not my style.
10. I've never been in love. No fake deep moment to follow... just hasn't happened. I've been close, my toes right on the line, but didn't happen... I believe the right one is out there for you and me and everyone else, sometimes closer than you think. But, I also think that somethings just aren't for everyone... who knows, maybe bae is out there. But in the mean time, I'm chillin'. In the meantime, I have lots of love to give to the ones I hold close. That love is sometimes abrasive, and harsh, and not always rainbows and butterflies, but its real.
11. I am ridiculously independent. Be it the only child in me, but I really can do it by myself. I almost prefer it. So, you can imagine how well group work played out in my college days...
12. I believe I am the definition of a โjack of all trades, but a master of noneโ. I honestly don't believe there is any ONE thing that I excel at any more or less than anyone else. I just do a lot of random things pretty well. Most days I'm a Michelle, just trying to live my life like a Kelly...
13. That being said, I still donโt really know what I want to be when I grow up. Yeah, no clue. I'll figure it out, eventually.
14. I believe that laughing is truly the best medicine. My sense of humor isn't for everyone, which is weird, because I'm hilarious, but the world can use WAY MORE LAUGHTER.
15. I hate compliments. Nothing makes me more uncomfortable then a compliment directed at a physical feature. With all this sass I have going on, I find compliments to be extremely awkward. I know, I am a child, but they are weird. Iโd much rather someone compliment my humor, or my outfit, then my face. Because, thatโs just the face I have. Plus, I find most times, compliments lack sincerity, and often come with people wanting something in return. I should probably research that more, because I know it's not normal.
16. I am single. No I donโt know why. No, Iโm not looking. No, there is nothing wrong with me. No, I am not worried. No, I donโt think my โeggsโ will freeze up. No, no, no. More on that laterโฆ
17. I am almost 30 years old, and I think that my 30s will be kinda lit. Iโm not sure what triggered it, but I have always been a little mature for my age. So Iโve been saying I was old since I turned like fourteen. So now, to actually be knocking on 30โs door, but still feel, and look younger, gives me a sense of anticipation.
18. I was that girl in high school, and college, who was in everything. Like, EVERYTHING. ASB President, Homecoming queen, cheerleader, dancer, BSU, morning announcements, Pep Rally announcer and thatโs just half of the high school list. College was even more OD. Cheer, dance, clubs, on campus jobs, protest, rallies, fraternity events, parties, and some where school. I planned conferences, been a keynote speaker for 100s, anything and everything in between. I sometimes miss that girl, the girl who could do anything she wanted, and never second guessed herself. Here's to finding that fearless early twenty something, and bringing her back!
19. I am an avid indie film buff, so much so that I even considered writing movie reviews here and there. Going to the movies alone is my favorite past time. I love films, and the places they take you. Every night before bed, I pop in a movie. It is almost a requirement if I plan on getting any sleep at night. Indie films kind of fell into my lap, and I have been obsessed ever since.
20. I almost never cry in public. And if, by some strange reason you are able to successfully make that horrid salty substance fall from my eyes, I am probably not sad, but pissed beyond belief. Frustration has gotten the better of me, and instead of punching you straight in the neck, tears form in violenceโs place.
21. I believe I am severely misunderstood. If being a black woman in America in 2017 isnโt hard enough, Iโve come to the realization that who I am at my core is often overshadowed by an exterior of a โdonโt take no shit from anyone, keep it real, humorous, aggressive, cut throat and cynicalโ outer shell. But like most great chocolate candies, the good stuff is always on the inside. Often times, people donโt ever see the sweet chocolate center, but life has taught me, that everyone isnโt supposed to.
22. I love dogs. I believe there are only two kinds of humans in the world, the ones who love dogs, and Satan.
23. I have lived a pretty interesting life. I didnโt always think so though. Recently, as Iโve started a new job, and been forced to do the whole, talk to people and tell them about yourself thing, Iโve realized my stories are always the most interesting. I mean, Iโm not like Beyoncรฉ or anything, but if you ever get to hear my story, you may be surprised, Iโm just sayingโฆ
24. My Parents are the best parents in the world, which is not a question but a statement of fact. Together, the three of us have formed an unbreakable bond that was built on the foundation of faith, humor, and keeping it real. If you think I am funny, you must know that my father, is easily the funniest man alive. If you think that I am a bad ass take no sh*t from anyone, that seems to be able to do one thousand things at a time, and not drop the ball on any of them, then you have yet to meet my Mother, who is the original Mrs. Benton, and the queen of literally being able to do ANYTHING. (Which reminds me, I loathe being called Ms. Benton. Because that's my mother, and I'm not her. I've spent a lifetime living in the shadows of that educational city treasure, I'm just Kim, dude.) And if you like my style, or even the way I am able to match random pieces of clothing, you again, have to give credit to my Father. Who should probably have a statue of him at your local Marshallโs or Ross stores, because that man has read GQ magazines for as long as I can remember, and then went to sad stores and created magic for a quarter of the cost. Those two people are literally the best humans on the planet. They are the reason I am able to stand here, as I am, confidently, and be who I am.
25. Writing this blog is probably the scariest thing I have done to date. I know what you are thinking, โthen why are you doing it, girl?โ Well, a few reasons. For starters, in my late twenties, Iโve come to realize that writing is kind of a weird passion of mine. Thanks to Facebook, the reality show of a magical place I call a job, and the comical world we currently live in, writing long drawn out Facebook statues became therapy. As the years passed, they got longer and longer, and better and better. I would write about just almost anything, as long as it meant something to me, and I had an opinion on it. So, after a while, friends and family mentioned that I should consider writing a blog. And my immediate reaction was, girl, ainโt nobody got time for that. But, they didnโt let up, and I decided that it was something that clearly had become a part of me, so this year I put action behind my words and here I am. I announced the blog like Beyoncรฉ did her new magical set of twins, and the response was overwhelming. No, like I completely freaked out, and considered canning the whole thing. I do this for fun, and not to be serious, and here is everyone and their mom ready to hit the subscribe button, in hopes that I will provide words, with meaning, and humor, weekly. How did we get here Sway?
So here we are. First blog. Scared shitless. If youโre reading this, thank you. Know that my words are simply my own. They arenโt right, or wrong, or meant to be anything other than an outlet for me. I would say that I hope I donโt let anyone down, but the truth is, if I do this for anyone other than myself, my blog will suck.
So this is for me. A kind of challenge, new yearโs resolution, double dog dare in my last year before I turn 30, to do something different, and do it as best as I can. I wonโt even profess to be a scholar, or writer, or even always grammatically correct. I do promise to be honest, rude, black, political, brave, hopeful, witty, smart, sassy, and painfully sarcastic.
Welcome to the weirdest, scariest thing Iโve done in my life.
-kb