So what is the biggest lesson I learned in 2016 you ask? Ok, maybe you didn't ask, but guess what, I'm going to tell you in anyways. HONESTY SAVES EVERYONE'S TIME. I know, not the most groundbreaking revelation, but for me, that was it.
Honesty saving your time helps you understand that somethings will never be the same. You see, I spent a lot of time this year reaching out to people trying to "fix" our relationships. I struggled with wanting things to remain how they "use to be", so I would call, or text, or Facebook (oh the joys of social media), to find answers, to why we felt off, why the dynamic had changed, why things were uncomfortable. I did that because I cared, I did that because I missed the comfort of those energies in my life, no matter how big or how small. I did it because no matter how heartless of a person I may be, the people that matter, MATTER, and even the slightest change in the waves makes me question everything. But, here's the thing about honesty, and how it could have saved me so much time: Those people, the ones I felt the shift in the tide with, the ones I tried to right my mistakes with, the ones who just stop talking to you and make you Veronica Mars the situation, those people, no matter how many text messages you send, or apologies, or means to communicate your wrong or perceived wrong, no matter how many birthday text, congratulatory messages, or even the act like nothing's wrong mentality, those people have decided you are not the one girl. And there is only so much reaching you can do for people who refuse to even acknowledge your hand waving dramatically just to be seen. Don't waste your time. Reach out to people, yes. Apologize when you feel you or your actions may have wronged someone? Absolutely. Pray for them, send them good vibes, be happy for their triumphs? Hell Yes. But continue to stress over why they can't be honest with you and tell you what's wrong? Nope. Emotionally attach yourself to the "how it use to be?" Nwah bro. Wait for them to acknowledge you, your apology, hell your presence? Definitely not. Be honest with yourself, and learn to leave it alone. They will come around, or they won't, neither has any bearing on you. You tried.
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Honesty saving everyone's time means walking away from a job that you were literally suffocating at. For almost two years, I worked in a place that I loved, and hated all at the same time. (No, not Disney girl. I’m not suffocating their, just in a constant state of eyeroll and joy all at the same time). The last six months found me almost in tears leaving or going to work every day, mostly from sleep deprivation, and 5 am shifts, but also from the complete lack of being fulfilled in any sense of the word. The craziest part, I was drowning, and no one noticed. That place sucked the life out of me, but also filled me with the bright shining faces of people who understood my struggles, but still tried to remain optimistic about the future. I remember thinking that everything you're good at isn't good for you.... but I always seemed fine. Friends never noticed, or cared to notice or even ask me about my time there, they just assumed I was good, because I'm always good. Sadly enough I wasn't good at all. And the day I walked into the HR office and submitted my third resignation letter (they begged me two other times to stay) I felt the weight of 1000 fake Kylie Jenner booties be lifted off my shoulders. Honestly speaking, I could have stayed there forever, it was the easiest job I think I ever had, and I was damn good at it. But how much more time could I invest in a place that was sucking me dry? The past few months have been scary, not having the double income, wondering what my next move would be, but my God how awesome it is to be happy. It's priceless really... and what's around the corner for me, is a testament to being real with yourself, moving in silence and watching the blessing fall directly in your hands.
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Honesty saving your time means that you learn that not just at some point you have to stop giving out your energy for free. This year like most years, I spent a lot of time listening. Listening to relationship drama, friendship woes, life crisis, bad days, good days, drunken stories, etc etc, and I with all that listening, I can't remember very many people asking about MY day. Ever. I remember having conversations that started about me, and 10 mins later the other person was doing a Scandal monologue, and I thought to myself, how did we get here lol. I've come to the end of the year, and I am almost empty, figuratively speaking. And don't get me wrong, my door is always open, my phone is always charged, and I am grateful to God for the gift of listening to respond to friends and family as honestly as I know how, and i know being that friend, though hard at times is important. But I also know that when the well dries up, that doesn't help anyone. So, because time is all I have, 2017, I will be releasing more. Spending time with those who don't just talk to respond, but who listen. And writing, like, really really writing. I'm excited for the launch of my new website in 2017, and the chance to get some things off my chest, as well as help others by just being myself, keeping it real, bringing humor to the table, and maybe shining a light on a brand new hobby that I may actually be good at.
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Honesty saving our time will make your realize the world will always have a lot to say about you. Good and bad. And though the bad stuff seems to linger longer than the rainbows and butterflies, it's so important to hear it all. Everyone isn't going to like you, and more importantly, everyone who dislikes you isn't ballsy enough to tell you anyways. I heard a lot of things about me this year, some made me sad, others made me think, a lot was stored away in the "you are doing the most right now, so Imma let you cook but hello Pot my name is kettle and we both black af" file and don't think about it much, but all of it made me stronger. Remember that you are NEVER as bad as anyone tries to make you out to be. Being the best version of yourself sometimes means starring in the mirror and realizing you aren't perfect, and then immediately figuring out how to turn those flaws into flourish. I like that... flaws into flourish, it's not grammatically correct, but it's got a nice ring to it. Flourish in 2017 my friends.
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Honesty means that time is precious. The days we have here are on Earth are numbered, and that makes them special. Live each day not as if it's your last, but as if it's your best day ever. Imagine the stories you'll have when each day feels like the best day, even when it's not. Life is short. Life is short. Live. Live boldly and fearlessly while you can. "And when you feel that you've reached the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on..."
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Honesty means that tomorrow is 2017, and no one will wake up a brand new person out of nowhere girl, sorry to burst your bubble, but there isn't enough pixie dust in the world bro. But, it can be the catalyst for change that you need. I've never been big on resolutions, something about them seem odd to me, but I am big on consistency. The start of the year provides a new page for a whole new set of things to add to your life story. We are the writer, editor, director, the entire Tyler Perry of our lives (y'all know she likes to star, write, direct, produce, sew the costumes, fix the wigs and everything else in her movies). LOL But seriously, 2017 is just another chapter for me. Quite frankly some things that happened this year were trash, but they happened. Some of the things from the last chapter were awesome, the memories, the laughs, the concerts, the music, the trips, the people, the blessings, the growth, the list goes on. So now what? Well, we take the good with the bad, we continue to foster a sense of honesty within ourselves and in all of our relationships. We are vocal about our wants and needs, we have fun, we read more, we love on each other more, we are kind to one another, we set up new things to challenge ourselves and make our lives that much more amazing. We mute the haters, rise above the drama, but remain just a hint of petty so people understand that you are not the one to play with. We laugh more, we congratulate people, we stop worrying about what the next person is doing over there, because we understand social media is a highlight reel and not always the truth. We take risk, even when they are scary, we jump, because we only have this one life. We stand up for black lives, and the rights of gays and women, and we are vocal about our concerns with the new President elect, but we remain hopeful, because he may be the President but he isn't God, so we know where our faith lies. We stop sticking our neck out for people who don't deserve it, while still giving all you have to the ones you love. We reach out to those we miss or have wronged, we apologize, we seek forgiveness, we forgive others, but we protect our hearts, our energy, our space. We create more. We shut up every once in awhile. We leave the sense of entitlement at the door, and learn the power of thankfulness. We eat well, look good, take more trips, write, start our own companies, quit that job, and if you can't quit, you make damn sure that that job doesn't make or break you or define you or your talents in 2017. We don't let a mouse define us, ever. We dance because we love it. We turn 30 (yikes), we stop dabbing, but we still JuJu on that damn beat, we keep loving a good eyebrow and a matte lip, we welcome the new silly hashtag challenge and dance craze, we meet new friends, reconnect with old friends,we laugh, we cry, we get boo’d up or wave the torch for the singles parade, and we are happy with both. We pray. We welcome new blessings... we fall, we fail, we dust ourselves off and we live. JUST LIVE.
Hello 2017, nice to meet you.
#themoreyouknow